Christmas time is a time of giving and receiving. And it is a time of bold lies by a lot of people, afterall, we all should know by now that even if you HATE the gift you show appreciation and not let them know you hate it. Here are some phrases you may have heard at Christmas and what the could mean!

1. “It is so beautiful!” = What will I do with this crap?!?
2. “You shouldn’t have?!” = I bet you shouldn’t have, what is this thing anyway?!
3. “This is so neat!” = Not!
4. “This is exactly what I wanted!” = I bought it a day ago, I hope I can return it!
5. “I so love the colors!” = Wow blue and pink socks… I will re-gift next year!
6. “The smell is so yummy!” = Smells like armpit!
7. “I can’t wait to play with it!” = It should only take a second to destroy!
8. “This is the perfect thing!” = For my cat to pee on!
9. “I hope it fits!” = This is not gonna fit!
10. “Wow honey, how did you ever guess?” = Just another reason to divorce you!

All in fun, I am sure everyone really did love their gift!

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It took me 4 tries to get my license, for a very silly reason. Rolling Stops. Each time I took the test I failed to completely stop at the stop sign, I was young and nervous. Finally on the fourth try, I stopped and sat there for a few minutes, made the instructor laugh and he finally passed me. Here are some cute ways to fail a test:

1. Ask the instructor if he wants to race you after you pass the test
2. Ply your own mix tape really loudly during the test, heavy metal works best for this!
3. Spin the tires and rev up the vehicle and honk madly if any kids wave at you from the back of a bus.
4. Slow down and yell at anyone attractive, honking and waving
5. Tell the instructor that you are only driving this slow to pass, that you really drive at least 40 over the speed limit
6. Ask the instructor if they have ever had a car test in a talking car like KITT in knight rider
7. When asked to turn left, turn right instead, when asked why say, “you mean my left”
8. When asked if you can touch the pedals reach down with your hands and say yes.
9. Ask the instructor to duck down so none of your friends see you with them
10. Ask if it is possible to travel back in time in any delorean, or if you had to make adjustments, also if you would need a special license for time travel

Follow those rules and you will fail in no time!

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Studies show that if a cat falls off the seventh floor of a building it has about thirty percent less chance of surviving than a cat that falls off the twentieth floor. It supposedly takes about eight floors for the cat to realize what is occurring, relax and correct itself.

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I have heard stories that this is a urban legend, I can’t imagine it really happening, if so, that poor guy, he was literally all alone. I would hope that SOMEONE would come looking after a day or so! What do you think? Did it really happen?

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This product is one of my favorites. It is a fake window, using electroluminescent sheets to look like a blind, and turning the stick controls the light. Now you can have a ‘window’ where it would otherwise not exist. This is perfect for those of us that experience SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) and need plenty of natural light to keep upbeat. This can help trick your mind in small rooms.

You can get more info on it here, it is not in stores yet, but should be soon. Right now it is hand made so it is very expensive.

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The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

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Every time you lick a stamp, you consume 1/10 of a calorie.

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Barbie’s full name is Barbara Millicent Roberts.

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You can buy this kit for 18.75 here. It is a very cute gift idea! It comes packed with 1 toothbrush (and toothpaste) 1 panty (one size fits all thong) 3 condoms 1 “emergency” phone card 1 packet of pain reliever 1 “leave behind” note.

Perfect for those nights you just cant make it home…. at least you can do the walk of shame in style! Shame on you!!

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