My Hero
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it’s a bad one.
Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. God works in mysterious ways.
After they crawl out of their cars, the man is yelling about women drivers; the woman says, “So you’re a man. That’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but we’re unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days”.
Flattered, the man replies, “Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God! But your still at fault…women shouldn’t be allowed to drive.”
The woman continues, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cork back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”
The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police….”
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil bitches.
Don’t mess with us.
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I am a 26 year old housewife that loves to explore and laugh! I drink way too much coffee and get a little crazy at times! Feel free to 
February 23rd, 2008 at 2:11 pm
That gave me a good chuckle! Thanks for the laugh.
February 28th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
women still suck at driving
February 28th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Women shouldn’t drive. The should use bikes as well as old people. There will be almost no more crashes. Thats the world I one day want to live in.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Funny how the sex of the smart one changes depending on who tells it?
also to JAMes, Men account for 97% of accidents on the road.
February 28th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
thats only in because were always drunk. other than that women cant drive
February 28th, 2008 at 6:19 pm
Nah. Men account for 100% of car crashes. We BUILD the bloody things!
February 29th, 2008 at 12:21 am
To Docp, you made that statistic up. While men do account for approx 52% of crashes, they make up 65% of drivers at any point in time. Women suck at driving. I won’t ride with one who is driving.
February 29th, 2008 at 12:53 am
While I cringe both at stereotypes as well as sexism, in my experience, many women are, on average, less proficient at automobile operation than men, again on average. I observe this to be attributed to men, *on average* having better spacial awareness abilities than women. There are exceptions, of course. My wife? Excellent driver. Course, she can drive a tractor, combine, truck, motorcycle, etc. My mother? Scares the shit outa me. I ask to drive anywhere we’re going together. My ex wife? Takes her 4 min to back down my 50 foot driveway, with multiple corrections and resets.
February 29th, 2008 at 5:19 am
Oh my god…. are you guys really so ignorant? My boss is a truckdriver, she can drive anything with wheels and can fix just about anything too. My sister has driven a motorcycle across India…. INDIA! ever been thereI have and I bet you guys wouldnt last a day on those roads. I live with 9 male roommates and I can tell you, they are the most irresponsible drivers I have ever seen… not only that but the sight of a hot girl makes them reckless and stupid behind the wheel and that is sober. Whoever says girls cant drive are full of bullshit…. it depends on the person not what they have between their legs…. fucking christ….
February 29th, 2008 at 10:53 am
ignorance and prejudice will always exist as long as humans live.
February 29th, 2008 at 11:11 am
Haha congrats to KageTora for making a great comment =D well made me laugh. As for this whole women are shite drivers…im sure they are, but men are as well so it doesnt really matter.
February 29th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
James said: Women shouldn’t drive. The should use bikes as well as old people. There will be almost no more crashes. Thats the world I one day want to live in.
Well, maybe when you’re old, you won’t want to live in a world where women use you and their bikes. Though I can’t fault your logic about almost no more crashes: old people would be rather slow.
February 29th, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Bill, men may have better spatial awareness, but we are therefore more likely to be risk-takers because we belive this. We think that we can get out of a dangerous road situation by accelerating rather than braking.
February 29th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
There is a flaw in this story however, you see, if he drank AFTER he crashed, and it couldn’t be proven that he was drinking while driving, he cannot be charged with driving while impaired.
March 1st, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Lucky, I really hope u don’t have a drivers license.
March 2nd, 2008 at 12:13 am
The cop wouldn’t care. If the officer was male, he’d know it was the woman’s fault. If the officer was female, she’d assume it was the man’s fault. Women are evil bitches, but men don’t keep them around for their personality.
March 2nd, 2008 at 7:57 am
If I was that police man, I would see through the woman’s evil plot and arrest her.
Then I’d drink half of the bottle, then leave the man all alone whilst I knock the woman unconscious and satisfy my carnal pleasures.
Because I am the law, and I always win.
March 2nd, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I would always prefer to drive with a woman driver than a male, much safer and fun! men suck and should not be allowed a license until they are at least 26 years of age! in fact teenage boys should not be allowed out in public after 9 O’Clock in the evenings they cause to much havoc both as pedestrians and as drivers
March 2nd, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Let’s just end this whole thing with women suck at driving and JAMes is awesome!
March 3rd, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Yes women are the worst drivers ever but if they were forced to ride bikes would they not ride it in the middle of the street as slow as possible like every other duchebag pissing us all off even more?
Answer: YES!!!!
They would.
March 3rd, 2008 at 7:30 pm
statistically speaking men are better drivers. yes thats statistics, not opinions. to women who claim to be better: EPIC FAIL! im not saying all women are worse than all men, there are plenty of stupid men drivers, but thats just statistics.
March 3rd, 2008 at 9:42 pm
there’s a grammar mistake in the 2nd sentence of the 4th paragraph. it should be “you’re”, not “your”. =)
March 4th, 2008 at 12:37 am
You know why women are so bad at driving. They keep getting told that this ============== is 6 inches
March 5th, 2008 at 12:19 am
On average women have less developed spatial skills and more developed interpersonal skills.
Why? Men hunted their food for millenia, a man who could use hand eye coordination better caught more food and survived. Women required the ability to communication in order to stay with their clan of women while the men were out hunting. A banished woman raising a child alone has less of a chance of surviving.
Oh and Monet just because your boss is a woman who can drive it means nothing. Because this is ‘on average’ there are always exceptions.
March 11th, 2008 at 2:19 am
I would also like to point out that i like men. A lot…
March 12th, 2008 at 10:20 pm
this is true we are clever evil bitches.
March 13th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
ha ha good one.
my 2 cents:
women learn things easier than men because they do not feel the need to push forward and be an expert instantly. however men are better drivers when it comes to things like racing and pushing limits and high concentration like reversing. there are way more male drivers so its no wonder men cause more accidents, you would need to do some pretty complicated research to find out who actually has a higher chance of causing an accident out of a male or female DRIVER, not a male or female.
March 15th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
This is just so wrong…but reveals what I’ve alway known.
March 16th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
What’s with all the god references? Seriously, after ‘god works in [blah blah blah]’, my eyes just glazed over. Oh, and this is a very old joke. You just inserted the god crap and changed a little bit of wording. Tell me…is plagiarism a sin?
March 18th, 2008 at 8:34 pm
Well the funny part of this whole thing is that its a joke and brings out the ignorance of people in general. The sad part is is that men can’t live without women and vice versa. So why don’t you get along?
March 19th, 2008 at 6:45 am
how did he open the wine bottle? it was corked. he had to have had a wine opener. who carries around a wine opener? god, its so flawed.
March 29th, 2008 at 10:05 am
The real moral of the story is don’t believe in god.
April 7th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
men and women do not drive the same number of miles under the same conditions- men do about 60-65% more driving than women. Studies show that woman take shorter trips and female drivers have a greater number of minor crashes than do men. However men are still 70% more likely to be in a serious crash.
May 13th, 2008 at 9:16 pm
what you have under your jeans doesn’t define how good or bad a driver you are.
To bad men can’t get over their superiority complexes.