It took me 4 tries to get my license, for a very silly reason. Rolling Stops. Each time I took the test I failed to completely stop at the stop sign, I was young and nervous. Finally on the fourth try, I stopped and sat there for a few minutes, made the instructor laugh and he finally passed me. Here are some cute ways to fail a test:

1. Ask the instructor if he wants to race you after you pass the test
2. Ply your own mix tape really loudly during the test, heavy metal works best for this!
3. Spin the tires and rev up the vehicle and honk madly if any kids wave at you from the back of a bus.
4. Slow down and yell at anyone attractive, honking and waving
5. Tell the instructor that you are only driving this slow to pass, that you really drive at least 40 over the speed limit
6. Ask the instructor if they have ever had a car test in a talking car like KITT in knight rider
7. When asked to turn left, turn right instead, when asked why say, “you mean my left”
8. When asked if you can touch the pedals reach down with your hands and say yes.
9. Ask the instructor to duck down so none of your friends see you with them
10. Ask if it is possible to travel back in time in any delorean, or if you had to make adjustments, also if you would need a special license for time travel

Follow those rules and you will fail in no time!

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Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud.The passenger, Bubba, said “lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it’s a poll-ice roadblock!! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!!” Don’t worry, Bubba”, Earl said. “We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat”. “What fer?”, asked Bubba. “Just let me do the talkin’, OK?”, said Earl. Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on their forehead. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, “You boys been drinkin’?” “No, sir”, said Earl. “We’re on the patch”!

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